The Story of Your Life

Is changing your life as simple as changing the story you tell about it?

What is the story of your life?

Is changing your life as simple as changing the story you tell about it?

Photo by Dariusz Sankowski on Unsplash

Well, let's look at the evidence.

The stories we hear (or watch, or read) as children seem to powerfully shape our personalities. From these stories, we (mostly on a subsconsious level) build our beliefs and our map of reality.

The greatest thinkers and influencers of all time taught their most enduring ideas using stories: Moses, Plato, Buddha, Jesus Christ, Charles Dickens, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Mark Twain, Ayn Rand, Stephen King ... the list is long.

Skillful storytelling is a necessary and essential skill for any writer. Or any human who wants to be more persuasive.

Let's start with this question: who is the hero of any story? It depends on your point of view. It seems clear to me that most of us think of ourselves as the protagonist -- the hero of the story of our lives. Even most villains don't set out to be a villain. I'm almost certain Darth Vader sees himself as the tragic hero of the Star Wars universe.

You can use almost any story to make almost any point you’d like.

That's a powerful insight which you can use to persuade anyone -- including yourself.

It's especially useful when you need to persuade yourself to change. Perhaps you need to change your mindset, perhaps your actions, perhaps both.

The skill of telling yourself the right story is helpful, especially when you're processing difficult, unpleasant events or circumstnces.

I'm hosting an in-person workshop later this month, and the first work we'll do is a storytellling exercise. (I share a more in depth version of this process in my new book, Read This or Die!).

I'll be asking our attendees to write out the story of their life -- twice. The first time, there are only two rules: the story has to be true, and it has to be tragic.

Then I'll have them write the story a second time. This time, the rules are that it STILL has to be true, and that it has to be a happy hero’s journey.

Finally, I'll ask the participants, “Which story is true?”

They always answer the same way: they are both true.

You have more than one story.

The question is: which of those two stories will you choose to believe to be most true?

Which will be the one you consistently review mentally, talk about, and internalize? That story will show up as the foundation of your primary beliefs, emotions, and values.

Each of our lives is made up of many stories. The ones on which you choose to focus become your life experience.

Choose wisely.

The story of your life is not your life; it’s just a story.